tired of not being able to say what is truly on my mind. this will do. :)

Look at me, unable to keep up a resolution for even a week.

May I say that the future is absolutely stressing me out right now? I am so very worried that I might not be able to get into a good college, since I'm not one to kiss up to teachers and most of them probably see me as an inactive daydreamer who has no personality. Which is rather different from what my friends probably see, but then again, I can't drag my teachers to the mall with me and hang out, can I? And in addition to all of that, I don't do much volunteer work either, or have a lot of outside activities, and I'm not exactly indispensable in the things I do join. I seem to be decent in most things, but excel at none. That is....problematic.

I am pretty satisfied with how my violin is going right now, however. But would it be possible for me to ever join into the "music circuit"?

I suppose the embedding down there didn't work. That's all fine though. I don't mind so much. I also don't mind so much that I'm not going to track today, although that incessant little conscience of mine refuses to let even the oncoming snowstorm stop my obligations towards the sport--"sport", that is. Not that I should bother at this point, considering how I'd be late.

It seems I didn't keep up with my resolution yesterday. That's just too bad. May I excuse my forgetfulness for one day? And I swear it was forgetfulness--can you imagine a New Year's day when you don't forget at least one thing through all that fluttering around, doing a million other things? Just too bad that this happened to be the thing I forgot.

I have a project to do today, meaning I have to drive out there into that pretty lacy snow globe--the flakes are literally floating and as big as a fingertip, go to my friends house dragging a poster-board and "artsy supplies", and commence on an exhibition that we've spent months planning and no time doing. Last time, we spent our three hours matching up people in our classes (ignoring rules of monogamy, personal preferences, and sexuality, of course) and though I must admit that it was extremely entertaining, I now wish we had done something so that I could enjoy this day off.

May I bid thee farewell under the grand Victorian style?

Until tomorrow,
IreylCadence

<img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyNjI*Mzk1ODE*ODQmcHQ9MTI2MjQzOTYwMzE*MCZwPTkzMzQ5MSZkPU15Q29kZUlEJmc9MiZvPWQ4MTYzZDg3OGJmNDRhZGM4ODg2OTdhYWYwMzI3YThhJm9mPTA=.gif" /><object classid="clsid27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" id="wordmachine" width="340" height="547" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/get/flashplayer/current/swflash.cab"><param name="movie"    value="http://games.mochiads.com/c/g/wordmachine/WordMachine.swf" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#000000" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><embed src="http://games.mochiads.com/c/g/wordmachine/WordMachine.swf" quality="high"    bgcolor="#000000" width="340" height="547" name="wordmachine" align="middle" play="true" loop="false" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="/go/getflashplayer"    FlashVars="crtr=1&gig_cfg=WM" FlashVars="gig_lt=1262439581484&gig_pt=1262439603140&gig_g=2"></embed><param name="FlashVars" value="crtr=1&gig_cfg=93349&gig_lt=1262439581484&gig_pt=1262439603140&gig_g=2" /></object>

I suppose it's time again to make those little promises to myself that I'll likely forget before we finish our New Year's leftovers. But hey, I'm an American, and Americans like cliches and traditions, nearly as much as they like denouncing them. So here I go.

~To write here everyday. Or at least write something productive everyday.
~To not accept failure or imperfections.
~To be more empathetic.
~To calm myself a bit so that I can think during the event, not afterwards.
~To do something about that posture.
~To keep my resolutions. Including this one.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!! 2010 will be a good one. DD

So, school isn't going as easy as I thought it would and I'm more or less failing Spanish because my teacher grades us as if we were born in Spain. It's getting way busy, so I don't know how I'm going to find time in November to work on NaNoWriMo.

o.o

The people are fine of course, but there's no one knew, and I love my buddies, but I only have about three really close ones. The others--our pretend relationships are much cooler than our real ones, and we all know we're pretending, what with the hugs and "Ily!"s, but we're all too scared to say so. But I guess it's better than nothing.

I just wish someone new would come, someone intelligent, open, fun--a guy, I mean. I do have two really close girl friends like that. But all my guy friends, they're all too reserved, too light, not that I don't like to joke around and have a fun time...but sometimes it's nice to discuss the deeper things in life. And the ones that are serious are too serious and just completely bring me down. Basically, all the guys are all either clowns or completely duds.

Perhaps just my standards are too high. But I'm sure there's someone out there...Have I said this before? I can't wait to get out of here.